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Posts Tagged ‘ramblings’

Okay, I’m going to admit something here. It’s hit or miss for me when it comes to Ed Sheeran.

I know, I know. He’s pretty darn popular, and I’m really not surprised. He has a great voice, and clearly is a talented songwriter. But there have been several of his songs that I’ll just flat out admit I can’t stand. I change the radio station anytime they come on.

On the flip side, there have been a couple that I’ve really enjoyed. I actually quite liked the rhythm and melody of Shape of You. It was a fun, upbeat song. Something worth adding to a workout mix. But my general consensus was the same, which was that he was mediocre.

Then his most recent song came out: Perfect.

You know what? I totally skipped this song multiple times because I didn’t care for the melody on the first couple of lines. I usually just wasn’t in the mood for something slow, and for whatever reason I thought it was going to be another typical love song that had a more R&B flavor. Turns out I was completely wrong. Low and behold, one day I happened to change radio stations and the chorus of the song was playing. I didn’t even recognize it as the same song. It wasn’t until the second verse came up that I realized I had been skipping what was actually a very lovely song. In fact, I ended up listening to it several more times that very week.

After just one line, I was ready to give up on something that I hadn’t bothered to listen to all the way through. Kind of sad, right?

It made think of how many times I’ve done that to people. First impressions are key, but sometimes they’re very wrong. Everyone has a story, and sometimes we don’t know why a person is acting the way that they do. Perhaps they just lost their job. Got a bad diagnosis at the doctor’s office. Who knows?

I was telling Brother about how much I had been enjoying the song, and he admitted it was still just “okay” to him. Kind of meh, but not so bad that he wouldn’t at least listen to it when it came on the radio.

Well, just for the record, if you want to take a song from “meh” to “HOT DANG,” just add an Italian opera singer. Specifically Italian opera singer Andrea Bocelli, if you can. I just stumbled across this absolutely STUNNING version of Perfect, and I think it just helps to encapsulate that we should never judge a song by one line, nor judge a person by our first impression. Hope you enjoy this as much as I did.

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Boy, the holidays are already here. That’s just crazy. This last year has been a little bit of a whirlwind for me. I mean, the divorce was finalized, I moved to a completely different city, and ended up starting my own business. If you had told that me that all those things were going to take place over a year, I probably would have laughed at you.

But it’s been so good. All of it, the whole process. I have received so much healing the past several months, and it’s partly in thanks to my wonderful support system. My family has been instrumental in helping me both financially and emotionally. Seriously. I wouldn’t be anywhere without their love and stability.

This is where I have to give a shout-out to Brother specifically.

He’s been the best. We’ve been roomies for a year now, and he’s totally helped me out with rent the last couple of months while I’ve been getting this business off the ground. He’s been my number one cheerleader and often times the reason that I didn’t just give up and go back to a regular day job.

My church family has been my other support system. I’m one of the lucky ones, guys. We’re small in number, but fierce in love. And the other night, as I had a conversation with my pastor and his wife about many different things, something awesome happened. I felt a healing in my soul that I didn’t even know I needed.

I processed this over the next few days, almost testing the feeling of such peace, but it hasn’t wavered. You see, one of the unfortunately side effects of being in an abusive situation is fear. When you leave that situation, you break off one part of the fear because that person can no longer control you through it. But there are other parts of you that still feel apprehensive.

One of those things is fear of rejection. It’s something that I’ve struggled with my entire life, even before living in abuse, and part of the reason I rushed into a marriage that shouldn’t have happened. As other parts of my heart were healed, the fear of rejection still reared its ugly head. Especially when you’ve been single for a while and haven’t had any real prospects for dating.

That was the amazing thing about the other weekend. For the first time in my life, I felt freedom to love without fear. It didn’t matter if I was rejected. Didn’t matter if things didn’t turn out the way I envisioned them. I could still choose to love and know that it’s all going to be okay.

Everyone has their moments of doubt, but you can’t let fear rule your life. Live without regret, and enjoy the journey. I’ve had a couple of design inspirations come from this revelation, and I’ll be sharing them as soon as they’re finished. In the meanwhile, I leave you with my hope for your lives:

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Photo c. Hawk’s Haven Photography & Design

Be blessed! And thanks for traveling on this journey with me.

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Autumn is by far my favorite time of the year. Seriously. You see, when you live in Central Oregon, you usually have two seasons: winter and August. Lots of snow in the wintertime, and blazing hot summers. I mean, we are called the high desert for a reason. We get very little rain. (No, no, you’re thinking of PORTLAND. Portland gets all the rain and is very weird. The rest of us in the state are fairly normal, and the Cascade Mountains block most of the rain from coming our way.)

So for about two weeks, we get to enjoy this absolutely beautiful autumn weather that’s pretty much close to perfect. The leaves change colors, the temperature drops to a livable degree, and there’s even several days of cloud cover. It’s my favorite season for all of those things, plus hot chocolate, boots and scarves, and maybe some apple cider.

Of course, the down side to the leaves changing color is that eventually they fall to the ground.

I went for a walk this morning since it was amazing outside, and also because I had been a lazy sloth for most of week. I saw all of the leaves on the ground below the tree in our front yard and was rather impressed. They’d all fallen fairly quickly. Well, a few hours passed after I returned home, and I worked away at some business stuff. (Side note: I’m working on a couple of calendar designs and couldn’t be more excited! I can’t wait to show them here.)

ANYway, by early afternoon I was ready to check the mail and see if any of my orders had come today, but when I opened my front door, I was greeted by this:

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Yeah, those weren’t there when I went for a walk earlier, so I actually stepped back in surprise because I wasn’t expecting it.

That’s right, all of those leaves that had previously been in the front yard….

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….were now all on my front porch.

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“Well, that kind of sucks,” I thought, feeling none too pleased.

Then I saw my neighbor’s porch:

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And suddenly, mine didn’t seem quite so bad.

So there you have it. White I love fall weather, I’m not so keen on the clean up side of things. But soon we will have those nasty white flakes falling from the sky, so I can’t complain. I’ll be wishing for fallen leaves when that time comes around.

And now, off for more calendar editing fun!

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A Slight Rant

I try not to rant very often on this blog, because I believe in positivity and making the world a better place.

However.

Even I have to shake my head sometimes and take a moment to say, “What the *bleep* were they THINKING?”

Today’s moment of stupidity comes directly from my home state. It’s one of the states that happens to be on fire at the moment. (Half the country is flooded, the other half wishes we could pipeline that water directly onto our forests.) Every year, Oregon gets a few wildfires. It’s just what happens. We’re a part of the high desert, which means that it’s extremely hot and dry. We get very little rain here, unlike the small pocket of our state up by Portland. Most of us have common sense when it comes to that. You take proper precautions when you go camping, always use safety when dealing with any sort of fires, and don’t go driving on grassy lands.

And up until a few days ago, all of the major fires that happened here were of natural causes. We had some decent thunderstorms come rolling through, and dry lightning sparked the huge ol’ wildfires that quickly took control of our beautiful state.

Then this happened. (Pardon the bits of language in it. Unfortunately, in this case I’m inclined to agree with the author.) Yeah. Some teenager decided to set off fireworks in the middle of the forest. FIREWORKS.

In. The. FOREST.

I feel like there’s a life lesson in this somewhere. Our words (and actions) do affect other people, whether we realize it or not. One person caused 153 hikers to be put into danger because they became stranded due to the sudden flames. (Thankfully, all hikers were accounted for and able to make it to safety.) Our poor firefighters, who are already so tired from trying to contain the other thousands of acres of burning forest now have another fire to wrestle.

People’s homes are being evacuated and threatened. And the trickle-down effect continues to even people like me. Not only are we having to deal with ash and smoke choking us, but actions like this still can cause damage to people in my new line of work. I’m focusing on becoming a landscape and nature photographer. I rely on being able to get out and get pictures in order to have an income. Sure, it’s small change compared to the poor people who are losing their homes, but the point is that it affects everyone and there are a ton of people who have to deal with the aftermath of this.

Now, I’m sure the kid who started this whole thing feels pretty darn bad about it. At least, I would HOPE he does. That’s a tough way to learn life right there. Yes, son, your actions do cause a reaction. Because science.

However, getting back to my other point, I kind of feel like our words and how we live are the same way. One negative comment or action can cause a wildfire of emotions in someone else. One spark was all it took for the forest to burn. A few words might be all it takes to send someone over the edge. We need to stay positive. Speak life. The world is already full of death. Bring it to life instead.

See? I managed to make it a mostly positive post after all. 😀

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So if you live in the United States, chances are pretty good that you heard about the Big Thing that happened earlier this week. That’s right. I’m talking about that fan-flipping-tastic eclipse.

Or, as we here in Central Oregon like to call it, the ApocEclipse.

Funny thing? It kind of ended up being Y2K all over again. You remember that, right? It was that moment where all the computers and electronics all over the world were going to die because the year was turning 2000 and suddenly life as we knew it was going to end. So everyone stock-piled their food, water and other rations like they would need to survive for months on end because the stores were going to be unavailable and … yeah. Nothing shut down, life went on as normal and we thought we learned our lesson. Well, this was pretty much the same thing.

We Central Oregonians were told to expect as many as 1 million people coming our way because we just so happened to be in the path of totality. So I dutifully did my shopping ahead of time, filled up my car before all the stations ran out of gas, got a couple of cases of water and felt pretty prepared. Only my little city ended up getting bypassed by most of the traffic, so we pretty much prepared for a bunch of nothing. Everyone hunkered down, expecting the worst, so stores were empty, restaurants sat open doing nothing, and the highways were clear apart from a few flurries.

We got a little traffic around the main days of the event, but nothing compared to my little hometown just a few miles away. Turns out, that’s where everyone was going, not here.

So to give a little visual of my area, my current city, Redmond, is surrounded by several other towns and one large-ish city. The town that I was raised in (and where most of my family still lives) is an easy 18 miles away. The population of that town, Prineville, is less than 10,000 people. (What, did you think I was kidding when I said it was small?) The cool thing about Prineville is that it’s just an hour or so away from some of the most beautiful forest Oregon has to offer, the Ochoco Mountains. While most of the forest is BLM property, there’s still some privately owned ranches out that direction. One of those ranches contains a HUGE grassland called Big Summit Prairie.

It’s beautiful out there. When the wildflowers are in bloom, it’s a sea of purple and yellow. Well, the owner of the ranch at Big Summit Prairie decided to make a bit of a profit from this whole eclipse thing, and got a permit that allowed him to rent out his property to an event called Symbiosis. I really don’t know much about Symbiosis other than it looks like basically a modern-day Woodstock. They planned for roughly 30,000 people to show up, and last I heard, the final numbers were closer to 50,000. What does that look like? This:

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That’s a lot of people. And unfortunately, there is literally only one way to get to the Ochocos – straight through Prineville. The good news is that most everyone coming through seemed to be pretty respectful, and it did help local businesses boost their profits a bit. It also provided for some hilarious memes:

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I could link to some of the pictures of random cars and buses that were rolling through my hometown, but there are too many to choose from. And while traffic in my neck of the woods wasn’t bad at all, Prineville was a whole different story.

As for me? Well, I suppose the photographer in me really wanted to get an epic shot of the eclipse. But I don’t have that kind of equipment yet, and quite frankly, I wanted to just enjoy the experience. So I sat in my backyard, put on my eclipse glasses and joined the cheers of my neighbors when the moment of totality was reached.

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Super cool.

And it really was amazing. I’d never gotten to experience anything like it before, so I felt privileged that I could just walk outside my house and get to see something like that. It is most certainly something that you never forget. I think one of the most important things that I’m learning is when to capture a moment and when to enjoy it. Sometimes it’s okay to put down the camera or cell phone and just be content with life. So yes, I didn’t get an epic shot of the eclipse. That’s okay. I still have memories of it, and I probably enjoyed it a lot more because I wasn’t stressed about getting it just right.

Enjoy life, friends. You only get one here on earth.

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I told you that you all would get sick of me once I quit my day job. Now I’m like, “Woohoo! I can actually write down all the random crap that’s in my head!” Sorry, friends. You were warned.

So keeping with a bit of a music theme, I’m posting one of my all-time favorite songs EVAR. When I walk in the mornings, I like to listen to music. Spotify has become my main music source, and I recently was introduced to this song (and singer). Not only do I love Laura Brehm’s voice, but this song sort of became my anthem over the last year or so. It’s been a series of ups and downs emotionally, some of which I’m still working through.

The heart of this song and the positive message behind it often ran through my mind when I made the decision to finally pursue my passion instead of forcing myself to fit into a job that I just didn’t enjoy. I knew that if I didn’t take the plunge now, I probably never would.

It’s scary and exciting all at once, but ultimately, I know that this is what I was called to do. Things have felt more “final” these last few months, allowing me to break off some of the last pieces of hurt and brokenness that had remained.

I’m still working on some final decisions before I reveal what I’ve been playing around with for the last…well, couple of years if I’m honest. Financially I have to make sure I’m doing I think is going to be best, which involves a lot of research. *le sigh* Obviously you just never know until you actually get started, but I feel like being somewhat prepared never really hurt anyway. And I’m a natural born planner, so…yeah. I’m gonna research and probably over-research.

But I’ll keep you guys posted as I do! As the song says, “The story has not come to an end, it now begins.”

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Happy late Birthday to me! New year, new direction, and thankfully, some new music!

I’ve probably mentioned it before, but I’m one of those people who can’t really write anything unless I have music playing. I know some people have to have total silence to concentrate, but I’m not wired that way. Oh sure, I can make it happen if I need to, but music is what drives me, fuels my imagination. It gives me energy. I’m very fortunate, because Brother is a huge fan of Spotify and upgraded to a family plan about a year ago. Thus Parents and I are able to listen to music ad-free and create tons of playlists and radio stations. I have fallen in love with those features, let me tell you. Color me spoiled.

When I’m getting ready in the morning or sitting down to write something, I usually have Spotify up and running on either my computer or my phone. (Seriously, what did we ever do without technology?) I kept hearing these songs that I liked on one particular radio station that I had created, and every time I looked, I laughed because the name of the artist that I kept liking was “Sizzle Bird.”

Yup, that’s the name all right. However, don’t let his title fool you. If you’re looking for a mellow Lindsey Stirling alternate, Sizzle Bird is your man. Same electronic feel, with violin and sometimes piano overtones. While Stirling has been one of my favorite musicians for a while, it’s nice to hear something new, and I dare say that Sizzle might just give Stirling a run for her money in my book.

If you want to know what I mean, check him out here. My personal favorites so far are Imagine and Warm Heart. I’m stupidly excited about it. Of course, I’m always excited about new music of any sort. I’ll come back later with the two other new-to-me bands that I’ve recently discovered that have just blown me away with their abilities. However, they’re just about as polar opposite of this as you can get, so I’ll let them have a post all of their own. Just keeping the mood the same here, you know.

And now if you’ll excuse me, there are very clearly several songs of his that I’ve never heard, so I’d best correct that.

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