In Which My Brother Thinks He’s Being Haunted By a Disney Cup

How many oldies do we have on this blog? Raise your ancient hands. Just me? Really? C’mon now. Tell the truth.

Well, whatever the case, how many of you remember waaaaay back in the day when McDonald’s had those limited edition Disney glasses? I don’t remember what the heck they were celebrating, but somewhere along the line we ended up with one of them.

You remember these guys, right? Tell me I’m not the only one.

So we’ve had this Disney glass for, like, AGES. Both Brother and I remember growing up with it always handy in the cupboard at Mom and Dad’s house. It’s a nice size and hey, it’s Mickey Mouse so what’s not to love?

Well, apparently Brother always thought that the glass was mine for some reason. I mean, heck, maybe it was at some point. It’s been too long for me to really care now. Mom, on the other hand, assumed it was Brother’s glass. So she always made sure that it ended up wherever he was.

In the most recent move, however, it somehow ended up BACK at Mom and Dad’s, so when she discovered it, she was more than happy to bring it over to our place. Now, Brother and I have been housemates for well over a year, but one can never have too much glassware. And again, it’s a pretty nice cup. I thought it was super sweet of her to bring it over, so I just stuck it in the cupboard with the rest of our glasses and thought no more of it.

I sort of forgot to tell Brother that Mom had brought it by (and he was at work during the time she was over), so one day I see him reach into the cupboard, pull out the glass and go, “Huh.”

“What?” I asked.

He shrugged. “It’s just kind of weird. No matter where I live, this cup always ends up following me.”

So apparently Mom has been just happily supplying him with what she thought was one of his favorite childhood cups, and he just kept finding it magically appear in every house he’s ever lived in. Everywhere he goes, he just opens up a cupboard and there it is again. Thus he is haunted by mystical cups that never go away.

Disney Magic indeed.

The Day My Brother’s Sweatshirt Tried to Kill Me

So I tend to do most of the laundry for Brother and myself. I’m home most of the day and have time to do it, and it’s the one chore that I really don’t mind. I mean, if I get behind then Brother will do his own, but generally speaking I try to keep up on it. I figure it’s one way that I can give back to him for all the times he’s helped me out this last year.

So the other day I’m minding my own business, getting ready to fold laundry and all that, when I go to open the dryer door. To my surprise, a small projectile comes flying out at my face, inciting a minor panic attack.

I had no idea what had just happened, until I finally saw the grievous offender when it rolled to a stop:

That’s right. The end of one of my brother’s sweatshirts had gotten caught in the door of the dryer and when I opened the darn thing, it shot out at me like a mini bullet. I’m pretty sure I jumped a full foot off the ground:

As I relayed this story to Brother when he came home, he started laughing so hard he couldn’t speak for several seconds. Turns out he had already known this little bugger was about to come off his sweatshirt because the other side had already done so.

“It wouldn’t be so funny,” he said between laughs, “except that it belongs to my Punisher sweatshirt.”

So…apparently I offended the Punisher sweatshirt and it decided that retribution was needed.

I’m not sure what I did to bring about such open hostility, but clearly I did SOMEthing wrong. Needless to say, I will be more cautious when taking out loads of laundry henceforth. Because deep down, I have this feeling that the sweatshirt will always be watching…waiting…until just the right moment comes again….

Who knew that such mundane activities could be so incredibly dangerous? It’s enough to make one want to live in a bubble.

Fortunately, I am still a brave person and am willing to traverse the perilous crossroads for the sake of clean socks. After all, one still has a sense of dignity to maintain.

Despite what certain sweatshirts might think.

Throwback Thursday – I’m Covered in Bees

Because I never seem to have enough time to properly update (despite what my Candy Crush Saga score will tell you) I’ve decided to yoink the idea of “Throwback Thursday” for mine own dark purposes, mwahahahaha….

Erm, yeah. I’ll work on that evil laugh some more until it’s perfected. And by perfected, I mean we’re talking original animated Maleficent perfected. (On a complete sidenote, I’m quite looking forward to the new Maleficent movie. I don’t really care for Angelia Jolie, personally, but I’ll admit she is a talented actress. And Maleficent has always been my favorite of the Disney villains.)

So, for my own version of Throwback Thursday, I’ve decided to share with you a funny or memorable post from either my personal blog or Facebook. I’ve had a few moments that still make me laugh, and I can only hope that you’ll enjoy them as well. You should feel quite special, really. Only certain peoples are allowed to read my personal blog. So, without further delay, I present to you the thoughts from summer two years ago.

August 23rd, 2011

As I was on my way to work yesterday, I saw triangular hazard signs on the side of the road, prompting me to start looking for a car or person in trouble. What I saw instead were several boxes and what appeared to be garbage lying everywhere. As I continued driving along, poor Steve (the name for my ’05 Dodge Neon) was suddenly pelted with what sounded like dirt clods. I let out a (minor) shriek and realized that there were bugs all over my windshield. Giant, disgusting bugs. I assumed they were flies of some kind, only to find out from a co-worker later that someone managed to dump several beehives on the side of the road. So there were remnants of bees all over my windshield and the hood of my car.

It was at this inopportune time that I discovered I no longer had any windshield wiper fluid left. This, of course, being after I smeared bee guts all over my window. Thankfully, I was close to my destination, but it was extremely icky and a bit harrowing nonetheless. After work, I drove straight over to Wal-Mart (only a block away, thank heavens) and stocked up on windshield wiper fluid and glass cleaner like I was expected some kind of bee apocalypse. (I can see the headlines now: “They could have escaped…if they only could have seen out of their windshields…”)

Naturally, I found an unopened bottle of wiper fluid in my trunk after I bought the new ones. Because finding it beforehand would have been convenient.

Sometimes life just kicks you in the head for no reason other than it wants a good laugh at your expense. Honestly, I’m turning into one of those “When life hands you lemons, wing ‘em right back and add a few lemons of your own” kind of person.