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Posts Tagged ‘geek humor’

So I confess that I’ve slacked off on my geekery as of late. I haven’t been as faithful to watch all of the comic book movies that have come out as I have been in the past. (I still haven’t even seen Justice League for sweet pity’s sake.) And because my budget has been less than stellar, I’ve had to be pickier on which movies I watch in the theater and which ones I’ll have to Redbox later.

What I’ve really been bad about has been all of the comic book series that have come out over the last couple of years. Yes, I’m speaking of the myriad of shows that are available for streaming on Netflix, both from Marvel and DC Comics. To be honest, I haven’t really watched any of them. Oh, they’re all queued up in my list, but I haven’t bothered actually investing in any of them, despite the raves that I hear about some in particular.

Well, one of those series was Jessica Jones. I’d heard mixed reviews on it, though I try not to let other people’s opinions sway me too much on movies and TV shows. After all, I tend to like a lot of the movies that the majority of people have despised. (Suicide Squad, anyone?) In this case, I had friends on both sides of the fence. Some loved the show, others hated it.

After a decent day of hiking with my brother’s and my good friend, Handsome Ben, we decided we were both starving and wanted to order some pizza. I mean, we’d just trekked nearly five miles through the woods, so we’d earned it, right? (Side note: My brother has a plethora of Bens in his life, so I had to start assigning them all nicknames in order to keep track of which one he was talking about at any given moment. There’s High School Ben, Bodybuilder Ben, College Ben, Cousin Ben, and my personal favorite, Handsome Ben. Now you know.)

We decided we wanted to watch something while we ate, so he asked if I had seen Jessica Jones yet. He had only watched episode one and was willing to re-watch it, so we went ahead and gave it a shot. Now I’ll say this for Marvel, they certainly don’t censor nearly as much for their Netflix shows as they do most of their movies. *eyebrow waggle* Still, it was an intriguing storyline and I actually wanted to know more about Jessica’s past and the mysterious Kilgrave. There was time for one more, so we went ahead and loaded up episode two. It’s already getting better, and I’m starting to see why people enjoy this show so much.

THEN.

Then the Big Thing happened. Because, you see, Kilgrave isn’t revealed right away. He’s this slightly obscured character who is clearly disturbed and one of the creepier villains I’ve seen. But episode two starts to show the tiniest bit more of him. So here was my actual thought process as I watched the final part of episode two:

Me: (watches Kilgrave enter random couple’s house, seeing only the back of his head) Dang, he’s creepy. That whole mind control thing is messed up.

On TV, Kilgrave walks around like he owns the place and is still creepy, then turns his head to the side.

Me: (sits up on the couch) Wait a minute, I know that profile.

On TV, Kilgrave keeps talking, giving instructions on how he wants his food prepared.

Me: (points hysterically) OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

Ben: (looks confused)

Me: IS THAT DAVID TENNANT?!?!?!?!?! IS THAT FREAKING DAVID TENNANT AS THE VILLAIN IN THIS SERIES??!?!?!?!??! *fangirl scream*

Suddenly, I have every reason in the world to binge-watch this series in the next two days. And they’re all David Tennant.

WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME HE WAS IN THIS SERIES? HOW DID I NOT REALIZE IT UNTIL JUST NOW?

Sweet cracker sandwich, I have some serious catching up to do. What will I find out next? Is there something crazy awesome in Luke Cage or Iron Fist that I need to know about?

WHEN WILL THE MADNESS END??

I can’t waste any more time here, people. I have Netflix to watch.

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I know this has been asked on more than one occasion, but I’ll ask it again, even though I already know the answer. Why the heck do female video game and movie characters always have to wear the most stupid, unrealistic costumes into battle? It’s ridiculous. I don’t see men leaping into war in Speedos. They wear armor/chain mail/bullet proof vests/etc. Oh sure, there are some exceptions. For example, one of the (many!) reasons that I loved the movie Thor was because of the character Sif. Sif_thor (Okay, so the main reason I loved it was because of Loki, but come on, I’m a fangirl – what do you want?)

Sif was awesome for many reasons. She was a killer fighter. She was loyal to her friends. She had realistic armor. And she was still gorgeous. (I’m rather jealous, actually. I really wish I had her hair.) THIS is what femme fatales and other warrior women should be wearing when they go to beat the snot out of someone.

Brother recently started getting into the Devil May Cry games. He knew it would be something I would love to watch, so he began playing what I think is number four in the series the last time we got together for a video game night. Epic scenery despite being an older game, awesome battle moves, and the main storyline is pretty cool. Plus the characters are beautiful and intriguing. (DISCLAIMER: This game isn’t for the faint of heart. Lots of blood, creepy creatures and nightmare-inducing clown-scarecrows. *shudder* It’s rated “M” for a reason. Ye be warned.)

Nevertheless, we’re playing along, enjoying the story and kicking butt along the way. Brother hadn’t played very far into it before, so he’s also enjoying figuring out where to go and what to find, that sort of thing.

Cue the other reason it’s rated “M” with gratuitous scantily-clad bendy Skank Woman who doesn’t believe in wearing underwear. Brother’s jaw dropped and he quickly apologized, making sure to reiterate that he hadn’t seen this part of the game before. Uh-huh. Sure he hadn’t. Naturally, Mom chose that precise moment to walk in and see how we were doing, as she often does. I’m pretty sure that Brother would have rather fallen into a pit of venomous snakes while listening to Miley Cyrus on repeat for eternity than be there with the two of us. We all observed as Skank Woman – having finished disposing of some evil creatures in a rather disturbing manner – saunters over to the main character, jutting her chest out of her snippet of a costume as far as she can.

Not missing a beat, Mom quipped, “Well gee, that’s how I look every morning. Don’t you think?”

“Absolutely,” I replied. “In fact, I was just sitting back here thinking that I need to buy me one of those outfits for work.”

Mortified, Brother kept rapidly hitting buttons in the attempt to figure out how to skip ahead on the game. “OMG KILL ME NOW.”

It just goes to show that tormenting siblings is something that truly never gets old. It also goes to show that we have the coolest mother in the world. But my original question still stands: What gives? Nero’s character is appropriately clad to kill these things. Don’t me wrong, Skank Woman got the job done, too. She just made it look rather…um, dirty. Kind of like Ivy in Soul Caliber.

So come on, video game and movie producers. Don’t completely forget about your female fanbase. Give us more characters like Sif to aspire to, cosplay-wise. Heck, for that matter just give us more movies like Thor in general. Trust me, the world would be a better place.

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