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Posts Tagged ‘life’

Exciting and Scary

I made a big decision today. Like, a life-changing, this-could-be-really-stupid decision. Ultimately, I think it’s going to end up being the best for me mentally, emotionally and even physically, but it still seems crazy.

In a nutshell? Well, I quit my day job.

Actually, I resigned, so I still have a couple of weeks left. And I know, I know, it makes no sense whatsoever. While I *am* looking for part-time work to have a little bit of a supplemental income, I’m also going to be focusing the majority of my energy and efforts to something really spectacular. Honestly, I can’t wait to share it even here, because even though it doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with writing, it does have to do with creativity. Basically, I’m taking the plunge and starting my own business.

I’ve had a love of photography and graphic design for a long time now, and I’ve finally decided that now is the time. This season is a golden opportunity for me, because I’m at a point where I have no other obligations and I finally have a main idea of what I want to focus on photography-wise.

I’ve always enjoyed nature and landscape photography, but never thought to pursue it as a career until recently. However, there is a TON of competition in my gorgeous state. That’s fantastic on the one hand, because it means a lot of people to glean information from, but it also means that it’s difficult to get started. Once I realized that my real passion was home decor, suddenly a whole new level of photography was opened up to me. I’m keeping most of the details more on the secretive side of things for now, but once the site is up and running, I will most definitely be sharing it here.

Keep an eye out! (And expect a lot more random posts from me. Since I’ll actually have time to do so.)

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A Long Hiatus…

Hello, Blog-World. It’s been a while.

It’s one of those moments where I’m not entirely sure where to begin, because a lot has changed in the last year. While I’ve tried to keep this blog a positive place, because I firmly believe that the world needs as many positive things in it as possible, it doesn’t change the fact that I’ve been rather absent lately. Well, unfortunately that absence was due to some negative situations that needed to be ironed out.

However.

I have learned many things while walking this journey. I’ve learned that sometimes we are given challenges that will shape us into the best people we could possibly be. I’ve learned how to say no. I’ve learned that there is always a lesson to be taught, whether it’s easy or not. I’ve learned that having dreams and desires isn’t easy for everyone else to understand. But most importantly?

I finally found my voice, and I learned how to forgive myself.

It’s really hard to stand up for yourself without feeling like you’re being selfish. (Especially when there are negative influences in your life that might tell you just how selfish you’re being.) But how are we supposed to love others if we have nothing to give them because we’ve no idea how to love ourselves? I don’t mean empowering self-centered mindsets, because it’s also rewarding (and good!) to put others before yourself. But I firmly believe that you must still be kind to yourself.

I beat myself up inside because I made some mistakes, some poor choices. I look back and see what I should have seen the first time around. I can either continue to chastise myself for going down that path, or I can remember that I was young and naive and grant myself some grace.

I know I’m being somewhat cryptic, and for that I apologize. I’m not quite ready to share my full story just yet. But I also know there are people out there who will understand. Remember, negatives can be turned into positives if you know how to look for it.

Last year ended in a way that was seen as very bad for many of the people looking in from the outside. I choose to see it as necessary. It brought about freedom and the chance to start over.

My hope is to continue blogging regularly again. I’ve missed it. Thank you to those who have remained faithful to this little piece of internet in a vast cyberspace. I hope to keep up this journey.

Blessings,

K.C.

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So I’ve mentioned my brother a few times now. He’s pretty cool for the most part, except when he makes fun of me. But name me one little brother who doesn’t pick on his sister from time to time? (Besides I usually deserve it. Don’t tell him I said that.)

Today, however, I got to actually get a good laugh at him. Poor kid had to work the day after Christmas, which he really wasn’t looking forward to in the first place, but he got ready and headed to his car to take off anyway.

My family has this tradition that we always wave to each other from the window or doorway. It’s a longtime ritual that first started with my grandma and grandpa. As my grandpa went to work each morning, he wanted my grandma’s face to be the last thing that he saw as he drove off, so every time he left the house, she was there at the window waving to him. If it was dark out, he would flash his lights a couple of times to show that he saw her. His other common signal was to hold up one finger, then four fingers, then just three, which meant “I love you.”  Two generations later, my family still carries this out even to this day. Whenever we leave, we always wave to each other, and my dad often gives the sign for “I love you,” just as his dad did.

Thus I was at the window this morning, ready to wave to my brother as he went off to work. This was how I was able to witness the glorious moment when he carefully looked over his shoulder, slowly backed his car up….and ran straight into our garbage cans.

I’m pretty sure that I laughed for a solid ten minutes straight.

He looked very sheepish as he got out of the car, fixed the cans and proceeded to drive off. I was kicking myself for not having my cell phone ready and in my hand, but I still chuckled about it all day.

However, I started to feel kind of bad as the day wore on. Brother had already been kinda down about having to go to work, plus Life had given both of us a swift kick in the @$% recently. In fact, we had just been talking about how we were feeling kinda bummed before our awesome family came over for Christmas and cheered us up.

So I braved the after-Christmas crowds and did my best to make it up to him:

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What you can’t see behind my note is a couple of keychains he’d been wanting too. See, I’m a good big sister. Most of the time.

Harley Quinn makes everything better, right? I think I made the world right again. *puffs chest out*

Incidentally, if you haven’t seen Suicide Squad yet, DO IT. Disclaimer: It’s super dark (obviously) and really not a very wholesome movie. But it’s freaking awesome and probably one of my favorites of the year. Won’t be for everyone, but if you want to see a great action flick (and get some Harley Quinn eye candy) give it a go.

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When we bought our house, it had been vacant for nearly a year. Consequently, the yards are still basically weeds and dirt because we’ve been focusing our time and money (what little we have) on the inside of the house. (It’s older, so there’s a lot to be done. A lot. I get a headache just thinking about it.)

Well, it was just me and Samus this last weekend, so on Saturday I made sure that she was let out of the kennel enough to run around and get some energy out. Because there’s no actual grass and lots of interesting little things that dogs might want to consume that they really shouldn’t, we always have to keep an eye on both dogs while they’re outside. As I glanced out the window, I saw Samus slowly limping right in front of the dining room window.

I knew something had to be wrong, because this is how she normally is. Doggie smiles everywhere.

I knew something had to be wrong, because this is how she normally is. Doggie smiles everywhere.

“Great,” I thought. “Now what did she do to herself?” My dog fits well with me because she’s just as klutzy as her owner. I thought maybe she had fallen off the little brick wall we have in the back yard or something like that. I could see she was making her way to the sliding glass door, so I walked over and met her there. She slowly continued to limp up to the back door, giving me those big puppy eyes. It was kind of like a little kid who gets hurt and needs mom to kiss it better. I could see it was her back left leg that was bothering her, because once she had crawled inside the house, she stuck it up in my direction, like, “Ow. Make better, please.”

In case you’re wondering what I’m talking about, it’s this little pack of evil. I don’t know what they’re called in other parts of the country, but we refer to them as goat heads here. This isn’t the same one that was stuck in Samus. I actually took a picture of this quite a while ago because I thought it looked like the helmet of an evil dark lord. Because I’m an author, that’s why.

In case you’re wondering what I’m talking about, it’s this little pack of evil. I don’t know what they’re called in other parts of the country, but we refer to them as goat heads here. This isn’t the same one that was stuck in Samus. I actually took a picture of this quite a while ago because I thought it looked like the helmet of an evil dark lord. Because I’m an author, that’s why.

I took hold of her leg and, sure enough, there was a goat head jammed up in the pad of her paw. (This is one of the many hazards of having no grass and only weeds. My own feet pay the consequences because the little buggers stick to the bottom of people’s shoes only to fall off in my carpet. My poor bare, unsuspecting tootsies are then assaulted with the pain of tiny barbs first thing in the morning when I’m not quite awake. THAT makes me happy, let me tell you. *snark*)

Anyway. Where was I? Oh yeah, the dog. So I grabbed her paw and yanked it out in one fluid motion. She promptly covered me with doggy kisses, and I could almost hear her saying, “OMG YOU’RE MAGIC!” Tail wagging and full body wiggling commenced after that.

If she loved me before, she REALLY loves me now. *hero pose*

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