Ludo here says that it’s a good day to be a cat when you can just lounge about in the sunshine for hours on end. I sometime envy cats and dogs and their simple pleasures. I mean, really. Give a cat a sunbeam and he’s content for hours. They don’t have to stress out about work or what size of jeans they wear. Or about Maybelline discontinuing their color of eyebrow liner.
Yes, that has been my latest lament. My eyebrows are still suffering from the Unfortunate Plucking Incident of ’07. Sadly, I knew nothing of how to correctly pluck or shape brows at the time, so I ended up maiming them horribly for life. Tragedy has prevented them from ever growing back properly. And it sucketh.
I discovered the joy of Maybelline’s Eyebrow Liner a few years back, and suddenly realized that I could cover up my mistake and fool the world into thinking that they were actually normal. Ish.
Then even MORE tragedy struck.
Low and behold, in recent months Maybelline fiendishly decided to discontinue my particular shade of brow liner. (Foul devils! Do they not realize that I have crappy eyebrows without them?! Blaargghrawr.) I was in complete despair. I had so trusted dear Maybelline and their products. I had even specifically used their smokey eye shadow on my wedding day, because it was my favorite. Heck, they should be paying me to be a spokesperson here.
So you can imagine my utter distress. After trying what felt like a TON of other brow liners, I had finally found one that worked perfectly. It went on smooth. It matched my hair color. It was precise and self-sharpening. IT. WAS. BEAUTIFUL. And it was gone so quickly, I never saw it coming. After going to five, count ’em, FIVE different stores in search of this particular color, I finally went to their web site and realized the awful truth. The color was gone and it wasn’t coming back.
In a fit of desperation, I tried their next-darkest shade. Low and behold, it mostly matched. No, it was not quite as good as my original, but beggars and the eyebrowly-challenged can’t afford to be choosers, I suppose.
“Perhaps,” I thought to myself, “if I just walk around and act super happy, they’ll be distracted and won’t even notice my newly-colored eyebrows!”
It mostly worked.