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Posts Tagged ‘sad day’

I made a very difficult decision last month. A decision that was life-changing (for me, anyway).

When Husband and I planned our trip to the Mid-West a couple of weeks ago to see some of his family, I had no idea what would be put in front of me. Husband, Mother-in-Law and I traveled there with two dogs…and we came back with only one.

You see, as I’ve mentioned before, Husband and I are in the process of moving. And by “in the process” I mean that we sold our house, but have no other house to move into yet. We had several different houses picked out, and every single one of them fell through. The most recent, however, was the most difficult, as we were ready to purchase the house and were informed only days before closing that the loan had fallen through. Thus we have been indulging on the kindness of a friend of ours, who has been letting us live in his house while he is trying to sell it. (He’s already moved, so it’s just been empty.) However, because he is trying to sell it, our dog and cat could not be inside the house, which meant they had to be stuck in the large pens/kennels that we brought with us. Diddy (the cat) is not so bothered about it, but Samus?

Well, it was pretty much torture for her given how much she loves to play and be with people.

I exercised her as often as my schedule would allow, but I missed having her inside the house with me while I took care of basic household needs. It just wasn’t the same, and while I was willing to make this sacrifice for a couple of months, we were supposed to be in a house by now. With the most recent loan falling through, we have absolutely no idea where we’re going to end up. Suddenly, my poor puppy was looking at being stuck in a kennel all the time for a minimum of 3-6 months.

It certainly wasn’t planned, but when we visited some of Husband’s family over in Illinois, we were introduced to some good friends of theirs who had a teenage daughter. The daughter, a senior this year, is an animal-lover through and through and couldn’t stop playing with Samus and the large golden retriever owned by Husband’s sister.

Long story short, I watched as this family fell in love with Samus, even begging us to let her stay for a little longer one evening when we visited their house. As we drove away that night, I felt a tug in my heart. One that I honestly didn’t want to listen to, because it meant sacrificing my own happiness for that of my pet. But deep down I knew the answer.

I was supposed to offer Samus to this family.

She would have 200 acres to run around and play on, and a family who absolutely adores her. Her life would never be without love, so as painful as it was on my end, I gave her to the ones who could provide a stability for her that I simply couldn’t right now. Won’t lie, I cried for a full day after letting her go. Even now, I can’t think too long on it or I start to tear up yet again.

Thankfully, the family has been kind enough to keep me posted on her progress, which has helped ease some of the hurt. I know that sometimes when we love something, even if it’s simply a pet, we have to think about what’s best for them and not just what we want for ourselves. Ultimately, I wanted her to be happy, whether that was with me or with someone else.

I miss my pup. There are days when I wish that I could have her curl up next to me on the couch, that I could throw the tennis ball for her one more time (and I never thought I would miss that). But it was the right thing to do. I know it.

Samus2

Toys everywhere? Yeah, I’m pretty sure she’ll be juuuust fine….

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Why did I never think to put her in a bandana!? So cute!

Miss you, Samus girl. But I’m glad you’re truly happy.

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Ludo

So the last few weeks have been incredibly difficult for me. I had to say goodbye to a precious friend, my sweet kitty Ludo. I’d had him nearly 9 years, which meant that he was pushing 15 in total.

It’s that decision that you never look forward to making.

I knew it was time. Poor guy was starting to having difficulty breathing, among other minor health issues. Even though I had braced myself, knowing it my heart that this was probably going to be my last year with him, I still felt the pain of his loss like a hammer to the chest. Two weeks later, I find myself tearing up when I come home and he isn’t at the door to greet me.

Thankfully I still have Diddy the Moron to keep me company. He’s not the same; no other cat ever will be. But he keeps the house from feeling too empty and lonely, and for that I am thankful.

I’ve had a hard time concentrating on anything, much less writing something creative. Thankfully, I’d finished the major rewrites of my standalone before this happened. I don’t think I could have made myself focus. I know that with loss comes grief. It’s a part of life, and something that we as humans need to accept. I’m trying to allow myself the time I need to grieve. I honestly didn’t realize how hard this was going to be for me.

But I will get through this, one day at a time. Though I miss my sweet cat so very much, I am thankful for the many years we shared together. He was my buddy during my “bachelorette” days, my companion when I was sick, and my often-needed comic relief.

Rest in peace, dear friend.

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