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Posts Tagged ‘because i’m awesome like that’

I had to finally break down and buy a little fan for my desk at work. For whatever reason, the sunlight hits my window just right around 3:00 in the afternoon and my office suddenly becomes like a boiler room. Even with the shade down. Ugh. No bueno. It has a tendency to make it feel all stuffy, and not even my awesome Scentsy candle helps. Thus I plunked down the money and got a fan. So far, it’s heavenly.

It reminded me of the last time that I had bought a fan for a workplace. I was working at our local library at the time, and the air conditioning didn’t always function properly back in our area. While I didn’t have enough counter space to set up a regular fan like the rest of my co-workers, I did have a whole wall of shelf space that contained all of my cases for processing. (I tore apart the CDs and audio/visual stuff that came through the library and put them into durable plastic cases. It was pretty fun.) Anyway, I found this awesome fan with a clip that I could use to hang it from the bottom shelf. Since it was black and hung upside down I called it…the Batfan. I know. You think it’s epic, too.

Then we had a string of petty thefts at the library because some of the neighbor kids figured out that they could squeeze through one particular window in the kitchen that didn’t latch properly. It started out with small stuff. Someone would walk in and ask if anyone had seen their mug. Or pen. Or whatever. You kind of dismissed it, thinking they had probably just misplaced whatever they were looking for. Then one of my co-worker’s had her CD player and all of her Disney music stolen. (She loved listening to the greatest hits compilations of Disney music. Because she’s awesome like that.) Then the most tragic of them all – I walked in and realized that they had stolen my Batfan. No other fans had been taken, just mine.

*sniffle* I still miss Batfan. But in a way, his legacy lives on in my new fan. It’s smaller, so I have dubbed him Robin, the Fan Wonder.

(Yes, I name inanimate objects. Why are you looking at me like that? I haven’t even told you about Lord Eryk McFarley Typington III, Esquire. Yes, he was a typewriter. Now you’re giving me that funny look again. Stop it.)

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When we bought our house, it had been vacant for nearly a year. Consequently, the yards are still basically weeds and dirt because we’ve been focusing our time and money (what little we have) on the inside of the house. (It’s older, so there’s a lot to be done. A lot. I get a headache just thinking about it.)

Well, it was just me and Samus this last weekend, so on Saturday I made sure that she was let out of the kennel enough to run around and get some energy out. Because there’s no actual grass and lots of interesting little things that dogs might want to consume that they really shouldn’t, we always have to keep an eye on both dogs while they’re outside. As I glanced out the window, I saw Samus slowly limping right in front of the dining room window.

I knew something had to be wrong, because this is how she normally is. Doggie smiles everywhere.

I knew something had to be wrong, because this is how she normally is. Doggie smiles everywhere.

“Great,” I thought. “Now what did she do to herself?” My dog fits well with me because she’s just as klutzy as her owner. I thought maybe she had fallen off the little brick wall we have in the back yard or something like that. I could see she was making her way to the sliding glass door, so I walked over and met her there. She slowly continued to limp up to the back door, giving me those big puppy eyes. It was kind of like a little kid who gets hurt and needs mom to kiss it better. I could see it was her back left leg that was bothering her, because once she had crawled inside the house, she stuck it up in my direction, like, “Ow. Make better, please.”

In case you’re wondering what I’m talking about, it’s this little pack of evil. I don’t know what they’re called in other parts of the country, but we refer to them as goat heads here. This isn’t the same one that was stuck in Samus. I actually took a picture of this quite a while ago because I thought it looked like the helmet of an evil dark lord. Because I’m an author, that’s why.

In case you’re wondering what I’m talking about, it’s this little pack of evil. I don’t know what they’re called in other parts of the country, but we refer to them as goat heads here. This isn’t the same one that was stuck in Samus. I actually took a picture of this quite a while ago because I thought it looked like the helmet of an evil dark lord. Because I’m an author, that’s why.

I took hold of her leg and, sure enough, there was a goat head jammed up in the pad of her paw. (This is one of the many hazards of having no grass and only weeds. My own feet pay the consequences because the little buggers stick to the bottom of people’s shoes only to fall off in my carpet. My poor bare, unsuspecting tootsies are then assaulted with the pain of tiny barbs first thing in the morning when I’m not quite awake. THAT makes me happy, let me tell you. *snark*)

Anyway. Where was I? Oh yeah, the dog. So I grabbed her paw and yanked it out in one fluid motion. She promptly covered me with doggy kisses, and I could almost hear her saying, “OMG YOU’RE MAGIC!” Tail wagging and full body wiggling commenced after that.

If she loved me before, she REALLY loves me now. *hero pose*

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